Shallowness is Profound

Profanity is profundity

Monday, February 05, 2007

Scientific proof that men are cavemen

It all began with this post.

I wrote a fairly long post, and included a tiny picture just to amuse myself. And what did the good gentlemen of the blogosphere do? They all ignored the written part of the post in its entirety (except for the one anonymous gentleman who said it was boring shit) and headed straight for the picture. How do I know they did this? They all commented on the picture, but failed to comment on anything I'd written (which, btw, was the sort of good solid advice you'd find in a trashy chick magazine).

As I pointed out in one of my comments on that post, it has less to do with men being visual and more to do with men being illiterate.

Now, I shall talk about some more astute observations that I have gathered over a lifetime. For example, the fact that when you're in conversation with a member of the male species, they aren't really paying attention to what you say, they're trying to work it out by reading your body language, while taking furtive peeks down your cleavage. Or your legs. Or where they imagine your legs might be under that skirt. All of this forces me to conclude that men do not speak English, or any other spoken language. This is the real reason men suck at talking on the phone.

They grunt, much like most non-speech-challenged members of the porcine species.
It's simple and it's perfectly logical. Men are cavemen.


  • At 12:54 AM, Anonymous OrangeJammies said…

    oooh, I totally second that! Hopped over from The Surly Girl's page... fun stuff.. I'll be back! =0)

    P.S. The Bond fixation ...we share that!

  • At 2:34 AM, Anonymous Wishfulthinker said…

    And I third that!! ;)

  • At 5:23 AM, Blogger Drunken Master said…

    I might not speak for all men but this is what I think:

    If you read the post written prior to this one, you'll see I proved men are more efficient, a possible reason for the use of grunts in conversation.

    We stare because we appreciate not only what's on offer, but also the goods behind the curtain (see we're not superficial!)

    We're comfortable the way we are, hence the reluctance to change.

  • At 11:52 AM, Blogger Sriram said…

    I second DM's statement.

  • At 7:46 PM, Blogger Raindrop said…

    Orangejammies, Bond is a man's man, isn't he?:) A clean shaven technophile caveman. I'd love to be a Bond girl, even if it means getting dumped the next day. *drool*

    Wishful, you'd third anything, wouldn't you?:)

    Drunken Master, true, men are indeed capable of great depth of vision. Deep into that cleavage, deep under that skirt. It's a quality I both admire and appreciate.

    What if I said that WE (women) aren't comfortable with the way YOU (men) are? If we were, perhaps men world over would be getting more threesomes without having to resort to the old 'I have a terminal illness and this is my dying wish' tactic.

    Sriram, read above statement. Would the promise of easy threesomes get you to change your annoyingly male behavior?:)

  • At 8:57 PM, Blogger Vijayeta said…

    Interesting thought that! I agree with your theory completely :)
    Men are cavemen. Completely. And not just talk, they can't really even read or write. All they do is fake their way through life and other men kinda help each other on the way :P

  • At 10:08 PM, Blogger Sriram said…

    "Sriram, read above statement. Would the promise of easy threesomes get you to change your annoyingly male behavior?:)"

    You mean right now? Do I get to pick the girls? If so, screw DM! :D

  • At 5:10 AM, Blogger iz said…

    It's more about every horny sucker believing that one wears lipstick or dresses up just for him!

  • At 10:26 AM, Anonymous Alphabets said…

    Well I will say its just a matter of coincidence...but they are no...(as commented on ur other post)

  • At 5:18 AM, Blogger IR said…

    whats the point
    men and women are just d/f and hence d/f likes and dislikes,mindset etc

    it does not matter what we think in our brains sitting in front of a woman,we aint getting it untill she approves :)

  • At 6:02 AM, Blogger InExile said…

    so true this post .. except the talking on the phone point !

  • At 4:29 PM, Blogger Raindrop said…

    Vijayeta, lol. That made me laugh. It's so true. All of human society would come crashing down if it weren't for women and male bonding.

    Sriram, you get to pick the girls. Fuck, men are easy. Who would you pick, just out of curiosity?

    Iz, men have underdeveloped brains. Like children, they believe existence/life/the universe revolves around them.

    alphabets, there ain't no such thing as coincidence.

    ir, absolutely. And don't forget, that's what built society. Men would be perfectly content hunting pigs and dodos and calling it sport if it weren't for some woman saying, 'dude, I think the time is right for an i-pod nano or some nice big pyramids or a city or something.'

    inexile, all of it is true, including the talking on the phone thing!:)

  • At 2:17 AM, Blogger The Dude said…

    well, youre not too far off base, i think on many levels though weve evolved yes, men still carry a lot of the old ways with us, hence the caveman concept isnt entirely far off.
    but in all fairness, not all of us are as bad as you might imangine, we do behave a little better and can be more articulate, though there are times when even that becomes hard and we end up talking total gibberish!
    oh yeah, to give you an example to assist you in your theories, i once heard a joke: why do women have breasts? so that men have something to look at while talking to them!
    not overly funny, but makes a point dont it? and at the end of the day done be offended by us droolers, after all we're only human and often simple of mind - so cut us some slack, we cant all be bonds, if we were youd be just as bored as you are now, believe me.

  • At 12:44 AM, Blogger J. Alfred Prufrock said…

    You'd rather men were caveWOMEN?
    (brandishes fur and scratches club ... drat, never could get the hang of multi-tasking!)


  • At 11:22 PM, Blogger Rohini said…

    Not only do they not speak, they also don't seem to understand anything you say to them, especially when the cricket match is on.


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